I believe in the power of now, that this very moment is the only one that truly matters. Look around you. Is there anything wrong with this very moment? Stress and anxiety only come from two places, being worried about the past and nervous about what is to come in the future. Like everyone else around this time, and in between this nowness, I like to step out for a moment, just a moment, to see if I have actually lived up to those goals I had written down and suggested for myself before the new year. I never check back on them much throughout the year, but notice when I do that I am actually achieving them. Setting intentions for yourself is good practice, but don't be too hard on yourself to get there, enjoy that time discovering there.
My year went pretty much as planned, teach myself business skills, study whatever i wanted that piqued my interest at that moment, practice drawing every day, learn to share my work with the world, so that I would be comfortable enough to remove some emotional connection/ fear of judgement, and observe how social media interplays. It is an amazing world that we can get up to the second images snapshots and art from around the world. We can inspire each other from across oceans, you can support other artists and create a discourse about events and art forms within SECONDS of its creation. We have never been more connected as they say, and if you'd like you can follow me on Instagram @TheDenArchive .
Another goal for me this years was to create a body of work and have a solo show. You can read about it here Hauntings, History & Heritage which challenged me on so many levels. I was forced to talk about this work, why I create, and my process. I wanted this year to prove that I could do it too, to work for myself, set my own schedule, and be creating full time. It is truely where I am the happiest. I had everything I needed but something was missing. I went out in search of it this year, What I really wanted was less, to live more simply, to get back to basics with my family, how we eat and learn and explore, and to allow myself to be what I have always wanted to be. Someone asked me this year, "Who/what is standing in your way?" most often it is yourself. Get your ego out of the way, and follow your bloody heart.
While I do find my mind skipping along ahead of me, I have gotten better at staying focused on the moment. For me music and drawing and definitely music while drawing bring me deep deep into some other realm, which is always fun, but that is not a very safe place to stay. Creating is a perfect meditation, but you still have the bills to pay. That is why my goal for this year to double my take home pay and pay down debt, to spend less, buy nothing new, build a chicken coop with my kids with the scrap wood I have gathered or as my husband might say, 'hoarded' in my garage, and work professionally full time freelance. I can not let any more opportunities pass me by, because I can NOT get this story out of my head. Just can't shake it.. and it remains to this day very strangely vivid. Shortly before my father passed away last year in December, I was speaking to him on the phone about the old Polish man he had known for years who worked at one of the factories my father serviced, had told him about how he was to retire in 2 years time, and he couldn't wait because he owned a house on some beautiful island where he and his wife would live out their years. Well, the old man died shortly after. My dad was outraged that the man didn't just go to that island, he was old enough to retire, but didn't. My Dad was never to retire. I'm not going to wait until its too late to see the beauty in this world. My goal is to be the happiest I can be RIGHT NOW. I hope for the same in everyone because peace starts within you! Happy 2016!